Kaoru Emerges With Enishi: Surprises Ensue
by Kami and Rei
Summary: Kenshin and the gang have come to save Kaoru! Although, it would seem that Kaoru may not want to be rescued...


a/n: This is our first joint effort in writing a fanfiction... It's set in the 27th volume of Rurouni Kenshin... It's definitely Kaoru/Enishi... Oh yea! This fanfiction is brought to you curteousy of CrazyJaney and Sabakuno Temari, now known as Kami and Rei : )

Disclaimer: Everyone wants to have an Enishi or Kenshin body-slave. We just don't.

Kaoru Emerges (With Enishi): Surprises Ensue  
A fanfic co written by both Kami and Rei

Enishi was making his way down to the beach when he thought it would be good for his stress to knock Woo out for his disappointing performance. Too bad it didn't help… He knew that Kaoru was a ways behind him, but he needed to confront Battousai about his other business before he broke the 'devastating' news to him.

Before he could really move in though, an annoying little kid stepped in his way. Not cool.

"Where's Kaoru!" the stupid boy demanded. All of a sudden, Enishi had an overwhelming urge to kill the kid.

"Don't you dare say 'she's no longer of this world'…."

'Well, she's not of _your_ world…. Not anymore at least…' he thought to himself smugly.

"If you do, I will kill you for Kenshin who has vowed never to kill!"

Enishi stared at him, wondering if he was serious or not.

"IDIOT!"

Enishi examined his nails, disinterested with the bird head and his threats and exclamations. Besides Kaoru wasn't dead… So he really didn't need to listen to this… He allowed his thoughts to drift.

'I wonder if Kaoru would give me a manicure later… Hmm, I think I need some lotion, too…. St. Ives? Does that stuff really work? Maybe Curel? No… What about Johnsons? Yeah….. That'll make my skin soft as a baby's bottom, then, Kaoru will never stop touching me! Bwahahaha! Besides, doesn't she like kids? She must if she took in that annoying little shit…..'

"Where's Kaoru!" the bird head yelled, interrupting his thoughts.

Scowling he decided not to answer and instead held his ground. It turned out that he didn't have to say anything since Kaoru choose that moment to emerge.

"Why'd you get so far ahead all of a sudden? I can't run in these crappy shoes! Lover…? Where did you go…?" she asked, coming into view.

A chorus of 'Kaoru's' met her ears. However, none of this meant anything to her as she noticed Enishi standing in front of her. Her eyes lit up and she stopped talking. She ran up to him and hugged him from behind. He smirked and Kenshin's shocked face and raised his sword.

"That's far enough, Kaoru! I didn't give you your clothes back for them to be ripped off again," he told her, a gleam sparkling in her eyes.

Under different circumstances, she may have giggled and given him a naughty look.

"But… I thought you said you'd wait for me! You finished without me. Bad Enishi," she growled out.

"N-No, dearest! You've got it wrong! _They _crashed our private party!"

"Oh." She looked disappointed.

"Wait; What, what, what, WHAT!" Kenshin demanded, finally standing up from his position on the boat.

"He's my bitch!" she chirped happily.

"Your…. Your bitch…?" he repeated dumbly.

"Yep! He's good for all sorts of things that you'd never even think of doing! Like- (lists all sorts of naughty things that could scar young children like Yahiko for life)"

Enishi blushed, feeling his cheeks heat at her words. The world faded and his vision turned black. His head started swimming with memories of his days before Kaoru….

Enishi was sitting contently next to a wash bin on the beach. Finishing up his last article of laundry, he rung it out and clasped it onto the clothing line. A strong gust of wind fell onto the beach and Enishi put a hand up to stop his hair from getting ruined. You see, Enishi liked his snow-white hair, or his "Bunny-bob white" hair as he liked to call it. The Easter Bunny had nothing on him. But recently, he'd had to spike his hair in order to 'intimidate' his opponents. He figured his enemies wouldn't be very afraid of a man who had a fluffy cotton-soft ball of hair upon his head. When Gein had to cut for him, well, it was a hard time for Enishi.

"Be gentle, please, I beg of you!" Enishi asked with tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

"……….." was the only response Gein could come up with. He started to cut Enishi's precious hair, a few tendrils at a time.

"NO! NOT MY PETER COTTONTAIL!" Enishi screamed as he tried to flee. Gein caught him in one arm forced him back into the chair easily.

As Gein finished with one last cut, Enishi asked him, "How could you be so heartless!"

"……" Gein replied. He was a man of few words after all.

"Oh Peter Cottontail," Enishi said fondly, coming back from the first back-in-time of this portion of the story, as he played with his short hair. "You shall be revived shortly my vanilla ice-cream cone!"

Four months later…..

"Ah! My luscious vanilla tendrils have finally grown back to their original luster! I can once again run my fingers through my silky strands of perfection at last! I should have at least another six months before I must go through the hellish process known as a 'haircut' because the discovery of, Kenshin-The-Sister-Killer should take at least that long if not longer…." He smiled manically in his happiness.

The moment that Gein opened the door to the patio, Enishi felt an eerie sense of foreboding.

"General Kenobi," Gein insinuated with a deep tone before correcting himself, "(cough) I mean Master Enishi."

"I thought I told you to ask before you borrowed my Special 25th Anniversary Star Wars Collector's DVDs." Enishi glared.

"I'm sorry master, sometimes temptations are too much to bear."

"I understand, disciple. I was the same way after I saw the first episode of Dora the Explorer. (the little bitch snuck her way into my heart)."

"Swiper no swiping!" the duo said at the same time and erupted into girlish giggles.

Enishi realized that the rest of his masculinity was quickly going down the drain much the way bunnies reproduced. Enishi also knew that this analogy made absolutely no sense, but well, he liked bunnies…. With their long, floppy ears, their cute button noses, their adorable- wait a minute. That's an entirely different story that Enishi certainly didn't want to get into now.

"So Gein, what's so important that you had to barge in on me during my 'Hair Revival' time?"

"Master, I've found the location of the hitokiri."

"What was that name?" Enishi glared.

"I was saying that the Sister-Killer is in Tokyo, sir, and we should plan to attack immediately."

"Immediately? You mean-NO! My babies have only JUST re-grown and spread their wings! I haven't even weaned them off their special deep-conditioning blend yet! How could you!"

"…..it must be done master, I apologize in advance," Gein said snipping the scissors that appeared from, well, Enishi didn't exactly know where and wasn't sure he wanted to know.

After the brutal cutting and painstakingly slow gelling session, Enishi was ready to depart. There was only one thing in his way. His beautiful hair lay scattered on the floor like freshly fallen snow, mocking him.

Yes there was only one thing left for him to do. He placed his fallen comrades into a gold encrusted box and gently lowered it into the ground, said a few lasting words, then covered the box within the hole of dirt.

Enishi felt like he could breath a little easier now. And so he set off on his journey….

--------------------------

"Eni! Eni! Eni!"

"Padme? Is that you my love? I'm here…. Your dearest Ani…." Enishi said, lifting his hand to Kaoru's cheek in a dramatic scene.

"Enishi snap out of it!" Kaoru screamed, giving him a good smack.

"Oro!"

"Shut up Sister-Killer!" he yelled, his anger renewed. "Kaoru, back away so he doesn't kill you!"

"Sessha would never kill Kaoru-dono!"

"Yeah right!" he answered, standing up and drawing his sword. "DIE, Sister-Killer!"

-------------------------

Three days, too few sword fights, several sake jugs and many caffeine drinks later……

"Let's dance!" (David Bowie, cough, cough)

Swinging arm and arm were Enishi and Kaoru while Kenshin did his own thing in a dark corner.

"I'm dancin' with myself…." (Billy Idol, cough, cough) Kenshin muttered to himself.

"(Sweatdrop) I think maybe we should leave him alone…. Hey do you wanna-?" the rest of her sentence faded off into giggles as he caught on. They soon disappeared into the night, leaving what left of the Kenshin-gumi drunk on the beach.

Owari (almost)

Note: Yahiko's body was found off the shores of Japan months later

Enishi and Kaoru eloped and lived happily ever after

The rest of the Kenshin-gumi lived a happy, drunken life on that very same island for the rest of their days which for some may not have been very long due to various drunken accidents involving jellyfish and swords.

Owari (for real this time)

a/n: don't forget to click the button, bitches!


End file.
